Crafty Kicks

   I remember when I first became aware of ballet flats as a trend. It was in the spring of 2008, and my brother was soon to be married. My wedding day outfit was almost complete, but I lacked shoes. My sister owned a pair of multicolored, sparkle covered flats that served as inspiration: I wanted painless cute shoes for dancing. 

After trying a few on for the first time, I found ballet flats were a little odd-looking on my own foot. My impression: Minnie Mouse shoes. Eventually, I found a pair that were covered with cheap silver sparkles with a grey undertone, and a blue grosgrain bow on the top. For the wedding, I ripped off the bows. Afterwards, I glued them back on.

   The year after, I experimented with embellishments. I tried pieces of velcro on top, with the corresponding velcro covered with blue shoelace bows, dark green ribbons, pink ribbons, and the original pale blue grosgrain bows. All interchangeable, customizable additions. The impractical side I found out, was that the velcro'd toppers would too easily fall off with regular movement. I soon left them blank and have kept them that way for past year.

   These $10 flats have served me well in three years. Silver turned out to be a new neutral, and metallics came into vogue. I have repaired some of the finish with silver nail lacquer, but that's it. They don't keep out water, but they are great for sunny days. Today, I refurbished them for the summer. Who knows how long they'll last me. I do love them, but I know I can't keep them forever. This will probably be the last major experiment.
   I added blue electrical tape around the top edge, which was really beat up, and a strip outside the heel. Then I added a silver start on each one, and touched up the silver finish with metallic nail polish. Voila! My newly recycled kicks.

Why Listen: Superior/Subordinate Scenario

   There seems to be a fundamental question people ask themselves when requested to pay attention:

"Why should I listen to you?"

   In a high authority/low authority relationship, the superior party will ask himself this question consciously or subconsciously (body language), in the moment and over time. The chance you will find yourself in a superior/subordinate relationship for any amount of time is very likely, so this can be helpful information.

"Excuse me, Mr. President/Barack; Hilary is on the phone for you."

   "Excuse me." This part is one of the most important; it interrupts the attention of the intended audience in a polite and deferential way. Courtesy is important because we would wish others to be polite to us as well. In this situation, courtesy is more common because of the formality, however slight, that characterizes the relationship.

   This phrase also places the speaker at slightly lower position because they are not demanding attention. They are asking for it. In doing so, leadership is inferred on the listener. Leadership implies responsibility, which implies action. Action includes listening, because that is a choice.

"Mr. President/Barack." Some relationships of superior/subordinate nature are more or less formal. Depending on the situation, one would use formal terminology (Mr. President) or first-name basis (Barack). Either way, the speaker gains the attention of his specific audience.

"Hilary is on the phone." The information stage should be concise, clear, and factual. Sticking to the facts and presenting them understandably saves both the speaker's and listener's time. It should serve to shift the focus of the audience to a practical direction.

"For you." The action step concludes the process. It brings the previous statements and phrases into the context of why it applies to the listener. In a sense, it is only then that people realize why they need to listen. 

To conclude, the preceding components act as a build-up to keep the attention of the listener to the point of action and personal impact. Incorporating courtesy, interest, information, and action make for more effective communication.

Note: This analysis and application using a fictional scenario does not apply to all situations. It is basic for the purposes highlighting the ideas, which may be applied to more complex interchanges. This is not exhaustive and was written from personal experience and reflection. Please cite Deborah - Lopsided4now as the author if disseminating this information.